It seems like every time I boot up my computer someone is offering advice on how to be more productive, more creative, and just more awesome during Covid. Honestly, all those articles just make me want to crawl under a blanket and do nothing. Which is kind of what I did for the first few months we were all at home, as far as my writing went. Every time I tried to finish my work in progress (from pre-Covid times) it went nowhere. And I in turn felt terrible about myself, and about writing in general. Whenever any notable writer…

The one thing I almost never, as in never do, is quit a writing project I’m working on. Part stubbornness and part fear, I have always believed you just have to power through even when it’s just not coming.

For years that attitude helped me finish columns, plays, and books. But the thing is, I was never trying to finish a project during a pandemic, or during a time of unprecedented strife and stress.

When COVID-19 shut down everything and we found ourselves quarantined at home, I was in the midst of writing a play. A play I had been…

I want to see my kids.

I want to meet my granddaughter when she’s born.

I want to hug people.

I want to not feel the world is dying every single day.

I want to feel joy.

I miss the gym.

I’m sad about losing my friend, Mike.

I miss yoga class in person and talking to people before and after.

I miss talking to people.

I miss being friendly. Because I’m a friendly person.

I miss leisurely walking through the grocery store and not thinking, I might die if I stay here.

I miss movies.

I miss theater.


When the shutdown first started I thought we’d be asked to shelter in place for a few weeks and then it would be over. Being a pandemic virgin I was a little smug about our country’s ability to deal with a crisis of this scale. and take care of its people. We’re the US, surely we’ve got this, right? How naive and incredibly foolish that feels in retrospect. But we’d never experienced Ebola or Zika on a national scale, why would this be any different? …

Several months ago I outed myself on this very platform, and in front of a live audience of about 200 people as a Hallmark Christmas movie watcher. It wasn’t easy to confess something that is so often derided, scorned even, but I felt better, freer after. And I of course know, yes, there are many things these movies could do better in terms of diversity both in terms of LGBTQ representation, and more people of color. …

I was always kind of an unusual child. A bit more worrisome, a bit more sensitive, never quite like everyone else. I spent a lot of time alone amusing myself by playing library with my dolls and stuffed animals. You know, as one does.

I was scared of the life-size doll who lived in the back of my closet, monsters under my bed, and the dark.

I may have been a scardy cat, but I never lied. except the time I peed in a box in my closet when I was four, because, well, why not? After discovering the evidence…

In the best of times, I question what I’m doing with my life if not every day, at least a few times a week. I attribute it to being a creative, not an artist, a term I ascribe to painters, sculptors, filmmakers, and such, not me, I write, sometimes successfully, sometimes not. But as we head to August, the sixth month of being affected by COVID-19, I think we’re all wondering what we’re doing.

My friend, artist Melissa Averinos, I think put it perfectly in her above illustration. I’m lucky, I’m getting by, nothing is terrible, I just keep forgetting…

The first time I saw him was in a snapshot sent via an email from my son. It was, pre-smartphone, so all I got was one grainy, slightly blurry image, but I was instantly smitten. I told my son to bring him home, we’d find a way to make it work.

That was 15 years ago, and save a few vacations where I left him behind, we were together every day for 14 years. He was my friend, confidante and yes, a cat. …

Do you find yourself wondering what other people are doing while at home during this time? Leave it to a perfectionist to think, “Am I doing this right?” I am convinced everyone is doing this in a much better way than me. Dear lord, there are pages and pages on Pinterest stuffed to the gills with ways to slay at quarantining. Grow plants! Organize your wardrobe! Start a journal! Date nights! I am totally doing it wrong.

Then I slide over to Instagram and Facebook and everyone seems obsessed with food. They are learning to make a sourdough starter, baking…

Since I work from home already, I admit I kind of thought social distancing would be pretty easy for me. Turns out not so much.

After a couple of days of not being able to get out of my own way, I realized that I am actually out in the world a lot more than I realized. Gym and yoga six days a week, popping into the shops I manage social media for, the grocery store, coffee shop…I was not nearly the shut-in I imagined myself to be. I miss my life, and I’m sure you do too.

I have…

Candace Hammond

I am a freelance journalist, playwright and entrepreneur with a million side hustles to support my writing habit.

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